What Is Collaborative Parenting?

Posted by on Mar 20, 2013 in Uncategorized | Comments Off on What Is Collaborative Parenting?


Collaborative Parenting

 Collaborative parenting is not ‘letting the child do anything’; it is designed to teach the child safe boundaries and self discipline, so they will be ready to manage life when they reach adolescence and independence.

You are the Role Model and a child will copy your behavior and beliefs NOT what you ‘tell them’.

A wonderful saying my mother had was ‘Monkey see monkey do’ it is as simple as that, so be what you want your child to be.

Most problems arise when parents “Say No but DO yes” or partners are not aligned in their expectations.

Preparation, Communication, Patience and Consistency are the KEYS to a Calm Child.

Preparation; plan and practice a calming diversionary behavior (CDB) please see the tools section.

It is suggested that you choose one or two tools and then implement and practice them before they are needed. Use the same tools again and again; by sticking to same simple patterns the child will be clear on what is expected.  To many different tools (unpredictable patterns) can lead to confusion and anxiety.

Communication; explain clearly (in simple term) what you want and why. Clearly communicate both verbally and with body language with the child (even from birth).

From this they will learn and replicate the behavior patterns demonstrated.

The MAIN intention is to teach the child to understand the process of CAUSE and EFFECT. If you do ‘this’ then ‘that’ will happen. It is the single most important concept.

Consistency; implement consistently the same pattern of explanation, demonstration and congratulation, always question immediately negative or destructive behavior and reward generously positive and      thought-ful behavior (again cause and effect). Consistency also eliminates confusion and anxiety; it is a basic human bio-logical reaction to be more relaxed and calm when it is know what behavior is expected.

It is important to reward positive behavior and explain boundaries (appropriate behavior), with experience the child learns what is ‘acceptable and what is not’.

Begin well BEFORE a situation arises that is likely to become uncontrollable.

Managing Negative Emotions

As a follow-on from the above information the most important thing for a child is to understand is that for every action they take, there will be a re-action. Cause and effect.

Also how to express their emotions clearly confidently and without aggression.

One way to achieve an understanding of both these concept is to use: Guided Imagery, Games and Stories.